Hannah Brooke Williams

I am writing a story about our 10 year old daugher Hannah Brooke Williams. She is a very caring & smart little girl that's always looking for ways to make things better. In September & October of 2005 she was starting to have headaches about once every couple of weeks; after a month or so they seemed to be more frequent & intense causing her to throw up.  I then made her a doctors appointment to see what they could find.  After running a series of tests they still had no diagnosis, her doctor suggested we take her to Childrens Hospital in Knoxville, TN (which is about 30 miles from our home). On February 7th, 2006 we went to the emergency room at Childrens Hospital; immediately after seeing & hearing her symptoms they gave her a CT scan which showed that she did have a brain tumor the size of a medium lemon. I was so devestated to find out that this actually happened to my child and all I could do was to pray & ask God to put his hands on my little girl.

On February 9th, 2006 Hannah was scheduled to have brain surgery at 11:00 am. It is so hard as a parent to see their child have to go through this but I knew it had to be done. After a very long & stressful 7 hour surgery it was finally complete. All we could do was wait to talk to the surgeon to see how our little girl was. Her surgeon came out & took us aside to explain in detail her surgery & what was performed. He explained the tumor was fairly large and he was confident it was all out; that in itself was a relief but still not certain of what kind of tumor it was.  The one question everybody wanted to know "Was the tumor cancer?" The surgeon explained it was called Medulloblastoma which meant it was cancerous; we knew then that she had a long road ahead of her but knew it was something that had to be done.  Her surgeon was surprised to see that Hannah was not on a ventilator that he was sure she would have,  I thank God for giving her surgeon the patience & gift to remove the tumor. We all know that God had his hand on our little girl.  A nurse finally came in to let me know that Hannah said "I want to see my mommy". I couldn't get there fast enough with tears flowing; my emotions were all over the place. When I went in what I saw was a little girl that looked much different than she did a couple of days ago but I was very happy to see that she was ok & on her way to getting better.

Hannah really missed her brother, he was still in school & I assured her that he would be there as soon as school was out. She really didn't care if they did anything or not, just him being there meant more than anything.

Hannah had been scheduled to have 30 treatments of radiation, going every day Monday - Friday which she completed in April of 2006. During that time she did have to get one dose of chemo along with the radiation until she started her maintenance chemo on May 30, 2006. The maintenance chemo lasts 2-3 days with her staying in Children's Hospital & then depending on how she done as to when she can go home.  Her doctor said that was the bad stuff & it would probably make her sick for about a week, but much to our surprise she did not get sick at all, isn't it funny how God will have mercy on a child just to make a point to everyone else.

This has been a really hard time for all of us but I am so glad of the peoples lives that have been touched & how people really come together in a time of need. I would like to say Thank You for the people that have been praying for us & to please continue to keep us in your prayers for Hannah has a long road ahead of her. I know this is bad but honestly it was so hard for me to keep up with posting things on here so I am going to go through & try to remember the best I can.....are you ready? Well most of you that knew Hannah knew what an amazing child she was & as you read this you will know that she has already passed away but I am going to do my best to catch you up to date. She went through her 30 rounds of radiation as well as all her chemo. She was given a central line called a port; this is given so they can be given meds, given blood etc without having to be poked so much. They numb the spot with Lidocaine give it 20 minutes & it's numb & they use a needle to access her port. During all of this time she had 2 ports inserted at two different times & also a pic line which is a line they insert in her arm & it also acts as a central line. After getting her started on all of the chemo she did not handle eating well at all which is normal for a child receiving chemo so she was eventually given a feeding tube which is inserted in her belly & she can be given fluids, TPN or whatever she needed to give her nutrition. At one point she was given a feeding tube that was inserted into her nose that led to her belly but like with most of these this is just a short time temporary fix until her appetite picked up & did for a little while. After all of her stays in the hospital after receiving chemo she was given a shot before she left that would help to bring her white blood cells up; some of the side effects were extreme bone pain because what this does is attacks your bone marrow & is helping to speed up the process. We then would go home & try & recover from the chemo & usually a week after she would return to the clinic to have a CBC (complete blood count) to see if her counts were where they needed to be; if not then she was very limited on where we could take her...had to be very careful about being in public with alot of people in fear of her catching something & as with all cancer kids they do not fight off infections well because of such a weak immune system. Usually home would be where we stayed to help her rest & recover. That year school was starting back August 2006 Hannah was so excited to go....she had to get an approval from her dr. to go & she did. She actually went to school for a bit then had a relapse & had to be taken out; she was homeschooled by her 4th grade teacher Ms. Jarnigan; she would come over maybe twice a week & leave a bunch of work for her to do & come back the next week & pick it up. She was just like every other student except she had to do her work from home. She would receive a report card from her teacher just like all the other students. Her relapse actually starting in her lower back, so upon talking to Dr. Vickie they decided to do an MRI & with all she had been through I still had a sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach....September 2007 her cancer had returned....this time in her lower spine, see when she had radiation they radiated her spine & brain; at times some of these cells are not gotten & seem to settle in the lower spine which is exactly what happened in Hannah's case; so here we go again....more chemo....more meds....more sickness. I was so ready to be over this & I know my precious Hannah was too.....even though hardly ever heard a complaint from her. So this time we were started on 3 other chemo's & a light dose of radiation; she was not able to receive much because their is a maximum dose a child her age can receive & after they have reached that limit you cannot give more due to high risk of mental disorders so we were just doing what the dr's ordered. At this time prayer became such a vital part of our daily routine because I knew if anything was going to help us & her get through this god was the only one that could. The clinic every summer offered a camp to the oncology patients called Camp Eagles Nest...this was held at Camp Wesley Woods in Townsend, TN. The kids would be gone for a week & had a wonderful time just being able to do things they wanted & be around other kids with cancer so none of them ever felt different or left out...this was a perfect place for them. They could swim, make crafts, ziplined, done ropes course, go on hikes, ride their bicyles....anything they wanted to do they could. I was sooo happy when Hannah was able to go but at the same time missed her terribly. Always worried about her; her first time going she actually had to be hooked to a pump so her IV pole had to be one of her "accessories" to pack. Despite taking all that with her she had an awesome time. She was able to do alot of cool things while being sick. The UT baseball team came to visit & she had her picture taken with them. We got to go to a Titans football game & sat in the press box with free drinks & snacks & Hannah as usual was treated like a queen. We went to see Keith Urban in concert in Nashville & the most amazing gift to her ever was......Going to see Hannah Montana in concert. We actually had to drive to Lexington KY but it was the best money we ever spent. She had an awesome time. Hannah over the course of her treatments always attended the Jefferson County Relay for Life; it was held at the high school & she enjoyed going so much. She & her friend Ashtyn would run & play & just for a bit act just like normal kids....doing what they are supposed to; play & just enjoy being a kid but instead these two were fighting a terrible thing called cancer. So dealing with a sick child & having my son Ryan to take care was not hard enough the one Hannah called dad...her own father could not take on the responsibility & just left.....in the middle of her treatment just left so now I'm a single mom with a sick child & Ryan to care for with no help from him. I had a house payment, car payment, regular monthly bills & I was totally stressed about what to do. Like I said earlier god had become a major part of our lives & as I look back I wonder how I did it & then I remember how god was always there; he never left our side; in fact to this day I still live in the same house I did then; we were so blessed & still are. After her relapse in September 2007 Dr. Vickie wanted Hannah to go to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital in Nashville to try & have a stem cell transplant.....after weeks of trying her counts never made it to the level they should & unfortunately she was not able. While in the hospital there Hannah developed a bad sinus infection (she had always had problems since birth). Upon giving her antibiotics to try & help clear it up all it seemed to do was get worse. In fact her left eye had almost gotten completely shut so after an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor came to see her he determined she needed to have surgery due to the fact of her having no immume system she somehow developed a fungal infection in her sinuses which at this time was very serious because she was not able to fight off any infection & this was something very serious he was worrying about spreading to her brain. The next day she was taken back to surgery to have as much of the fungus taken out as possible & which was only supposed to be about an hour surgery turned into 3 1/2. We were so worried about her; finally after two hours the dr. came out & said......Hannah has alot of fungus in her sinuses & its spreading & with her immune system at zero I'm afraid this is gonna continue to spread & can cause very serious consequences & I was in shock & didn't know what to say.....he told us that we probably needed to call our family in to see her that she may not make it. All I could think was cancer was not gonna kill my little girl I sure am not gonna let this fungal infection kill her. So over the course of that week she ended up having 3 surgeries on her sinuses to remove as much of that fungus as possible. After a few days her counts started coming up & she was able to fight it off but that was not all to it. She had to go every week to her ENT at Childrens in Knoxville & have her sinuses cleaned out to make sure this didn't return. At this point & time this infection was just as serious as her cancer. I know it sounds crazy but it almost killed her. Ok so after leaving Vanderbilt in December 2007 we finally were able to come home but without a stem cell transplant. So Dr. Vickie's plan was to keep her on her chemo & see how she did. So in February of 2008 Robert & I got married...that was an issue all in itself....see Hannah was a little bit spoiled lol & she still thought even after me getting married that she could still have her mama all to herself including sleeping in my bed; as you can imagine that did become an issue because where was Robert supposed to sleep? Hannah replied "He can just sleep on the couch" Bless her heart. So needless to say she did sleep with us for a while because I was very protective over her; wanted to hear every breath she took, every sigh she made & watch every move she made just to know she was ok. So after a couple of months she finally decided she would sleep in her bed...made me worry a little with her not being by my side but I knew if she needed me she could call me. So a month after Robert & I got married Hannah was diagnosed again & this time the doctors didn't give her much hope. They could not do any radiation & very little chemo. She was due for a random MRI & when it was done Dr. Vickie said that Hannah's cancer has returned again & this time her brain was covered; I was devastated. Me, Robert, Dr. Vickie & Dr. Pais all went into a consultation room & talked. Dr. Vickie said all she can do is give her medicine to keep her comfortable & I was like no way; there has to be something you can do; this by far was the worse news we had ever gotten. While in the hospital she was given seizure medicine & her normal dose of chemo & we just sat & cried. Hoping & praying that god would perform a miracle. As usual she had received so many visitors, cards, flowers, presents & of course her favorite.....money lol. After about two weeks Dr. Pais finally let her go home with alot more medicines & a pain pump which she seemed to use most of the time; she was in constant pain. After being home for about a week we noticed her speech was getting slurred & she was having trouble walking; of course after consulting with Dr. Vickie she said this was normal with her having as many tumors as she had; all we could do again was pray & cry & ask for god to help my little girl get through this. As the days went on Hannah just seemed to get worse....more seizures & more frequent. We had made many trips to the emergency room & still nothing they could do. We truly thought this was it. Hannah slowly seemed to be getting a little better; she was walking better & not having as many seizures & after talking with Dr. Vickie she was positive the chemo was helping to slow down the growth but in no way was a cure. Hannah continued on her meds for the next few months seemed stable....not much better but not worse then out of no where she took a terrible turn for the worse; her seizures were happening everyday then was 2-3 times a day then more frequent than that; she would at times have trouble breathing & just could not stay focused on anything. So September of 2008 she had another MRI & this time it was more than even the doctor could imagine. Hannah had thousands of tiny tumors in her brain & her doctor said make her comfortable there is nothing we can do. She told us to spend as much time with her as possible & make every day count. So we did just that. The very last thing Hannah attended was a Halloween party that Childrens Hospital put on every year for the children at the Oncology department; this time in a wheelchair, couldn't hardly talk & just not our normal Hannah. We stayed for about an hour & she was so tired. We left & took her home. One week before Hannah left this earth she & Robert went to revival at our church on a Wednesday evening. She was singing & praising the lord. Robert said I have never seen her like this. She was taken to the front of the church in her wheelchair after our pastor asking the congregation if anybody had anything they wanted to share & this is what she said. "If there is anybody here that doesn't know my Jesus you need to find him" that's how she referred to him....."Her Jesus". She preached to that entire church for 2 hours; Robert (my husband) said when they left that church there was not a dry eye in the house. The lord brough Hannah Brooke into this world on Christmas Day 1995 for a reason & I'm sure everyone in that church knew the reason when they left. October 28th 2008 Hannah had to be admitted to Childrens for what would be her last time. She again began having seizures & they were bad; she had alot of swelling on her brain & the tumors had gotten much larger. While laying in her hospital bed with myself, Robert, my dad & my mom by her said she looked at my dad & said "Paw Paw I'm done" then looked at Robert & said "Daddy I'm done" those were the last words spoken from my precious baby girls lips. She stopped breathing they called respiratory to come bag her; told us to make phone calls & have all of her family her ASAP. As she was being given air through that bag all I could do was cry & hold her. I told her how much I loved her & that she was gonna be healed now. Having to leave her side was the hardest thing I had ever done. At 1:31 am on that Wednesday morning of October 29th 2008 my baby girl went to see "Her Jesus" & is resting comfortably in his arms. I know god doesn't make mistakes but I always had to ask why? god why my Hannah? I still to this day 3 years later sometimes still ask god why.....losing my baby girl was the hardest thing I had ever been through. She never had a boyfriend, got to finish school, get her driver license, go to prom, graduate high school, get married & have kids which is something she wanted more than anything. I always asked god why was she deprived from all of these things. We will never know the answer but as long as we trust in god & what he does is right then I know there is a place waiting for me with her one day. I would like to thank you for letting me share this piece of our lives with you. I will pray for families that has a child battling cancer or that has lost one due to cancer; this is a terrible disease that they need to find a cure. Please keep myself & my family in your prayers. Thank you.   The Ogle Family.